Imagine if you could sell your property like a celebrity. Being a big star, you could shift a fully-furnished loo for a million bucks if you fancied. Punters will pony up an arm and a leg for a diva’s house just because they’re famous, right? Afterwards, they can chivvy off the bathroom tiles and flog ’em on eBay for a mint if they’re crafty. But, not really. You can’t just sell your property in five minutes because you’re an A-lister. Sometimes, a star’s home can languish on the market for longer than a nobody’s. This reality shrieks in the dial of everything we might assume about celebrity privilege. What’s the point of touching the moon only to come crashing down over something as mundane as a house sale? Nevertheless, we’re curious. What happens when a glambody’s home hits the market? We rubbed necklines with the gala set to suss this out. So to speak.

What It’s Like To Sell Your Property As A Star

If you’re a hotshot with an Academy Award and a Golden Globe to spare, selling your property is no hassle. You could sit on the can in your private jet and bawl out your agent from ten thousand feet should you wish. You’ll make it crystal clear that unless the buyer coughs up another million over the asking price, they can push off. After all, you’re somebody and they’re a big fat nobody. Take it or leave it. But life’s not like that, as we’ve learned. A big fish can wait an average of 36 days longer than an ordinary punter to sell their fancy residence. The gods can’t be happy with this situation, but they seem powerless. It’s as if the property market is blind to status. Fans should be crowdfunding to pay whatever astronomical amounts these puffed-up show ponies are asking. But they’re not.

However, when you consider the other houses on their street, there are valid reasons for passing on the celebrity abode. For one thing, the price tag is bigger because the home is too. The size of any given A-lister’s house is in direct proportion to their enormous ego. They buy up the best property on the block and then go hog wild with improvements. And their improvements are usually as bizarre as Michael Jackson’s collection of Ferris wheels. When you add a private jai alai court, an aeroplane runway and a lion enclosure, you’re doing yourself no favours. At least not when you try to sell your property. Normal people don’t need any of this crap, and they sure as hell don’t want to pay a premium for it. We haven’t made this stuff up either; it was the basis of a 2016 investigation by Redfin.

Fans Are A Problem When You Sell Your Property

The other major headache that keeps an icon’s home wallowing in the listings is security. Considering the number of nuts out there, who can blame them? You can’t let just anybody through the door, especially if they believe they’re Kylie Minogue’s lover from a past life. God knows what kind of delusional freak might turn up at an inspection hoping to meet the star. Once the agent red-lines the fruitcakes, the list of legitimate buyers shrinks. Obsessed fans chasing a glimpse inside their idol’s private life are the bane of high-end real estate agents. People tend to treat celebrity houses like a Hollywood tour. They pretend their name is H.E. Pennypacker and they’re a wealthy industrialist looking to add to their investment portfolio. In reality, their name is Moose, and they have an unhealthy fixation with John Travolta. So when you’re an A-lister, simply showing buyers your home is harder.

Subsequently, a celebrity’s estate mightn’t even fetch what they’re asking. Many a major leaguer has had their hopes of a superstar sales ticket humbled by a puny Z-list buyer. When Redfin produced the 2016 article, several household names had the wrong kind of hit. Katy Perry’s glam palace was surrendered at $1.26 million shy of her asking price. Matthew Perry’s Malibu manor went for $3 million under its estimate. And Jessica Simpson’s Beverly Hills boudoir was practically flushed away at $1.595 million below asking. One of the more amazing losses was the Playboy Mansion. This den of sin and iniquity was let go for half of its $200 million price tag. Worse yet, it came with the late Hugh Hefner still living in it. If we were these celebrities, we’d cry. But we’re not. Instead, we play a tiny violin for them, because a chance for us would be a fine thing.

Australian Stars That Sell Their Property (And buy!)

And that’s enough of that. We’ve just provided that colourful intro so we can segue into what the reader wants—celebrities and their homes! Believe it or not, we have plenty in Australia. We even have famous foreigners living among us. Given how screwed up their countries are, they won’t be moving any time soon. Unless, of course, it’s to upgrade to a better view of the ocean. Lucky beggars. We take a peek at some of these bigwigs and their lavish love nests. However, we can look, but we can’t touch. Not yet anyway. But if you dream hard enough, their reality might become yours when you sell your property. Let’s stroll down celebrity lane and window shop for the day we win $50 million on the Powerball. This is the lesson those of us not selling niche property can learn in this high-interest era: Dreaming is free.

Having said that, the following list of Aussie legends and overseas super-stars living in Aussie-land made cool profits on sales. Others bought splendid digs. That goes to show that Australians are winners. This country will always be lucky when you sell your property. We just have it that good. Sure, the rest of the world might go to hell in a handbag, but not us. Just look at these A-listers! Australia not only has a wealth of talent to export, but overseas stars increasingly want to buy here. Why wouldn’t they? With endless beaches, perennial sunshine, and a lifestyle second to none. So, when doomsayers start yapping about the RBA lifting the interest rate, tell them to take a hike! This is, and always will be, the lucky country because everyone wants what we’ve got. Now that patriotic song and dance are over, let’s show you why.

Matt Damon

Matt Damon once played The Great Gatsby in Australian director Baz Luhrmann’s take on F. Scott Fitzgerald’s master tome. Now he lives like him. in Byron Bay, of all places. The star of multiple blockbusters likes to stay down under, and nothing less than ten-star comfort will suffice. The 51-year-old star of Good Will Hunting splashed out $22 million for the 5-bedroom waterfront mansion. He bought it in 2020 after it spent just four days on the market. How’s that for a quick sale? Subsequently, he’s traded his Bourne Identity for a Byron Bay postcode. And that’s all we have to say about Matt Damon. After all, he’s Matt Damon. We don’t need to verbalise our awe.

Nicole Kidman

What Australian would be unfamiliar with Nicole Kidman? She’s starred in more hits than we’ve lost money on Sportsbet. Dear “Knickers”, 54, and her hubby, NZ-born warbler Keith Urban, 54, love fresh air. Thus, the Southern Highlands exhales with the contented sighs of two heavyweights in the entertainment industry. But it isn’t just Nicole and her family that enjoy their 1878-built Georgian home at Sutton Hill, dubbed “Bunya Hill.” Cattle and alpaca graze the 45 hectares of heaven they snapped up for a measly $6.5 million back in 2008. Indeed, the sun continues shining on these lucky poppets even when it’s pouring rain all around them. Oh, and when in the big smoke, they stay at their $7 million Milson’s Point penthouse. They own more than one apartment in the Mirvac-developed building.

Sonia Kruger

Sonia Kruger does a bit of everything. She works on TV and starred in Strictly Ballroom (1992). These days, she mostly presents shows on the small screen. The ageless 56-year-old stunner and her husband, Craig McPherson, are both television personalities. McPherson is an executive with the Seven Network. In a sense, he outranks her. Given their gilded status, the pair decided not to slum it when searching for their dream home. They probably never considered moving to Mount Druitt. Instead, they turned their sights to the upmarket architecture of Balmoral on Sydney’s lower north shore. And why not? They paid $6.5 million for their trophy home in 2015 and invested $1 million in renovating the gaff. They’re now sequestered away in an elegant five-bedroom, four-bathroom property. That’s the trouble with the beautiful people: the whole world envies us.

Chris Hemsworth

Chris Hemsworth is a famous actor. But we’re not sure what he’s famous Thor since his brothers are both actors and we keep mixing them up. As such, we’ll treat the 38-year-old thespian as though he deserves to be among our list of celebrity heroes. And surely he does because he’s played an array of not-so-memorable roles. Whether or not we notice him in the street isn’t the point. To do so, we’d have to be wandering around Byron Bay looking for Matt Damon’s house. There we’d probably stroll straight past Chris’s palatial $20 million barracks. Although it’s so big, it’d take us some time. It’s much bigger than his reputation. He, his actress wife, Elsa Pataky, and their assortment of children reside on a 4.5-hectare estate. It has five bedrooms, seven car spaces, an office, two bars and a wardrobe big enough to park a jet-liner.

James Packer

James Packer is a man with a big heart and an even bigger chequebook. He also carries a big waistline, but it’s not polite to mention that. The better classes refer to it as a “stylish pot,” so we should take our cue from them. Jamie used to be the ninth richest man in Australia, but he’s been chased off the list. He’s somewhere in the top twenty now. Notwithstanding, the heir to the Packer family fortune is doing all right. So all right that he broke the national record for a property sale. In 2021, the 54-year-old mogul paid a ridiculous $72 million for a two-storey apartment at Crown Resort’s Barangaroo tower.

His privileged tier on the God Tower includes so many entertaining areas, it’s just giddy. It’s a good thing Jamie is a tall lad because the floor-to-ceiling windows stand a dizzying six metres high. He has three open-air balconies with idiot protection, so nobody falls off after a few martinis. His view spans the entire harbour and takes in a large vista of Sydney. So if you live in that city, he’s pretty much got his eye on you. And, if he wants to gamble spare change, like a million, he can take the lift down to the casino. He owns 37% of it. But for those jealous ne’er-do-wells who’d fancy throwing rocks at his immense windows, don’t bother: they’re too high up.

Cate Blanchett

Forget the late Bette Davis, Cate Blanchett has the best eyes in the business. Lamentably, her pretty peepers focused on dreary old England, and that’s where she lives now. However, before she left our shores, she made a killing on the sale of her Hunters Hill mansion in Sydney. The multi-award-winning actress bought the historic 1877 gothic-style manor, dubbed “Bulwarra,” in 2005. She and her playwright husband paid $10.2 million for it back then. In 2017, they sold it for 18 million dollars, making a tidy profit. Cate won’t know what she’s missing now that she’s upped sticks for the old dart. For one thing, she’ll be paying taxes like never before. And it serves her right. There’s nothing worse than when an Aussie turns their back on this beautiful land. However, in a strange twist, the property was sold by its wealthy buyers in 2021 at a $750,000 loss.

Guy Sebastian

Cheerful Christian crooner Guy Sebastian got his big break by winning the first Australian Idol in 2003. The 40-year-old pop sensation has since won seven ARIA awards out of 34 nominations and achieved a heap of accolades. The Malaysian-born minstrel has plenty to thank the Lord for. During his career, he’s performed before the Queen, the Pope, and someone called Oprah Winfrey. In 2013 he paid $3.1 million for a property in sunny Maroubra, in Sydney’s east. But he doesn’t seem to have been tempted to join the Bra Boys. Instead, he invested his time and capital into renovating what locals perceive as a hideous bunker. His neighbours complained about the structure. Some threatened to leave the suburb. Despite looking like the Waco compound, inside it’s the stuff of Grand Designs. It has all the usual bespoke celebrity trimmings including a spiral stairway that may lead to heaven.

Conclusion:

Celebrities sure have it sweet. And most of them aren’t any more talented than you or I. What’s a celebrity anyway? Someone who’s made a flourishing career out of hogging all the attention. Should we reward them with even more? Haven’t they gotten enough already? Should we heap praise on them because they love themselves ­more than their fans do? Well, that’s the way we westerners roll, so what can you do? Celebrities keep the dream alive. But it needn’t be that way. You shouldn’t have to win a silly gold statue before earning the right to be treated with courtesy. The only thing that makes their money better than ours is that they have more of it. So what? That’s our attitude here at Perfect Agent. You’re all A-listers when you sell your property. We will pair you with an agent who’ll treat you like a star.